Wednesday, December 13, 2006

(1:13 PM) | Adam Kotsko:

2008 Strategies for the Democrats

2008 is looking to be one of the most crowded presidential fields in memory. Clearly there is a certain amount of momentum behind both Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, and if the Democrats wanted to embrace the Kotsko "corruption shows they're serious" path, Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich[*] would be an obvious pick.

But what if we were to think "outside the box," if you will. The nation is tired of career politicians, with their compromise-riddled history and penchant for equivocation. What this country needs is a man of action, a man unafraid of making hard choices and taking responsibility. What this country needs, then, is Kiefer Sutherland.

Think of it! "Jack Bauer '08." Even better "Bauer/Palmer '08." In the vice-presidential debate, Dennis Haysbert could bring down the house with a wry self-depricating reference to his ubiquitous commercials: "Strength abroad, responsibility at home -- that's Allstate's stand." Future historians would all agree that that would be the joke that decided the election.

[UPDATE: He could also offer a free Jack Bauer messenger bag to everyone who voted for him.]

[*] Incidentally, I ended up having lunch today at the restaurant where I thought I saw [Claire pointed] him [out to us Saturday evening], and the waitress confirmed that he actually was there -- apparently it's one of his favorite take-out places, but that was the first time he'd ever eaten in. You heard it here first. This is precisely the kind of blog-based original reporting that is going to destroy the mainstream media.

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(Adam Kotsko has asserted the moral right to be identified as the author of this post.)