Tuesday, March 23, 2004

(9:27 PM) | Adam Kotsko:

Is the world a board game? Perhaps.

The world is unlike the boardgame Risk in the following ways:


  1. In Risk, there are no civilians. In real life, there are civilians, who prove to be more vulnerable than soldiers to implements of war, on average. A territory that might house only two little risk guys might actually have millions of people, many of whom the conquerer must kill as he rolls his dice to victory.
  2. In Risk, an entire nation can be pacified with one army. In real life, a police force, government bureaucracies, court systems, social services, and a variety of other institutions are necessary to bring genuine stability to a region.
  3. In Risk, the only options are absolute world domination or complete annihilation. In real life, it is very possible to have a world that is balanced between two or more major powers who agree to respect each other's right to exist and negotiate disputes in a peaceable manner.
  4. In Risk, once a territory is conquered, only an army from another territory can take that territory away. In real life, there is always a remainder that resists any conquerer.
  5. In Risk, once the whole world is conquered by one power, the game is over. In real life, there would be constant rebellion and a very real possibility of the one-world government falling, making any attempt at total world hegemony a fool's errand.


In light of these contrasts, two steps must be taken as soon as possible:


  1. Someone must remove the Risk board from Dick Cheney's office, as well as Donald Rumsfeld's "lucky dice."
  2. George Bush should step down as the Republican presidential candidate and advise all those who had planned to vote for him to vote for Ralph Nader instead, given that a vote for Nader is a vote for Bush.


This exercise could perhaps be repeated with the games Monopoly, Clue, or Candyland.

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(Adam Kotsko has asserted the moral right to be identified as the author of this post.)